This consistently embarks upon the idea of emotional intelligence, emotional management and we are also call it an emotional awareness. In 1995 Daniel Goldman had this idea go viral in mental health and mental awareness immediately in the world of business. He will abbreviate this as an EI. The term was actually coined by two researchers peter salavoy and John Mayer. These two men were researchers of the Mayer salavoy emotional intelligence test. EQ is the personal ability you have to label and recognize your own emotions and feelings in your own emotional state.
There are two levels of your emotional EQ. Your emotional intelligence, it’s developing a habit of pausing and diverticulitis performing a habit of pausing and then objectification. There are many times that emotions when Anger or aggression come into play, and we are not able to think clear head idly. When EQ comes in , it’s allowing us to have objectivity with clear headiness. The third level of emotional intelligence is to objectify your own ability to rectify yourself at will. The ability to rectify or let go of strong feelings at will. You will be able to help others in need. If you are a high level ad emotional intelligent person you have a high EQ!
EQ is the ability to manage, control or identify our feelings. It is also the ability to understand and perceive the emotions of others, while being able to control their emotional state.
IQ however, is our intelligence quiotent. It is said to be the best way to measure how brain smart An individual is. This has no regard to emotional temperament. The IQ is a score given in a test like form to see how smart one is. It has been around since the early 20th century.
Now, you may not get tested on your EQ; however, it is somewhat of a personality test. An Eq is someones ability to identify, express, evaluate and control feeling. When you have a well known EQ, it shows in all aspects of your life.
“Personal Relationships and EQ
When you have a well-developed, highly functioning EQ, it shows in all aspects of your life. It certainly helps you stand out in the work world, but it also makes you remarkable in relationships with family, friends and strangers. For others, it is perhaps the lack of EQ that makes them stand out.
Here’s a few signs that you have a rather low EQ:
You have a hard time breaking away from your digital screen (phone, computer etc.) and thus don’t know how to really create a face-to-face relationship.
You are not good at all at making and sustaining eye contact – and even avoid it.
You are well-known for your inappropriate responses to circumstances. For instance, you spontaneously burst out in laughter when someone near you falls and injures himself or even bleeds, or when you see someone nearby in a fit of anger who is yelling and flailing around.
You always seem to rub people the wrong way; you irritate people. In other words, you don’t know how to get along with people – it’s not intuitive for you to know how to act, what to say[…]”
“Exercise 3: Learning To Read The Body
Almost all of your heavier, negative emotions as well as your lighter, positive feelings can easily be felt as sensations in your physical body.
Consider the feeling of anger. What happens in your body when you are feeling quite angry? Your muscles tighten up – fists clenched, muscles taut and ready for attack, face all tied up in an angry grimace. And then there is your voice, also a natural part of your body. Depending on your style of anger, your voice will get very tight and quiet or very loose and loud. It doesn’t take many experiences of anger for you to identify that feeling from how your body is reacting.
Now consider the feeling of sadness or grief. Your body also manifests this feeling. It becomes heavy, like you’re carrying around a ton of cement, making you feel like you’re being pulled downwards (thus the metaphor of “feeling down”). If you are sitting, it’s hard for you to get up; if you are standing, it’s hard for you to walk. You just don’t want to move. Depending on the degree of sadness or grief, and how sudden it has come upon[…]”
“Emotionally Charged Thinking
With a bit of reflection, we realize that feelings fill our thoughts as well. While we have some neutral (or “objective”) thoughts, most of our thinking is actually charged with either positive or negative emotions.
Even the simplest thought — like, “I’m running late” — can be full of emotions. It may be accompanied by anxiety, apathy, fear, self-importance, acceptance, joyful excitement and so on. The feeling that arises with the thought can be positive or negative, depending on the context.
Look at the following examples and consider whether the thought comes from — or is filled with — positive or negative feelings, or if it’s more objective and neutral.
- The sun is shining.
- She is in a crappy mood, watch out!
- What is wrong with them today?
- How dare you!
- How does he do that?
- I woke up feeling so great today!
- And to think I woke up feeling good…
- How could you be so stupid!
- Is it smart to do it this way, do you think?
- It’s raining.
- Look at how well I did the job!
- Piss off! Get away from me!
- I’ll never, ever, get it right.
- Ah…What a wonderful meal!
“Keep in mind that the statement’s feelings may shift depending on the mood of the person who verbalizes them. Think of how actors are capable of changing emphasis on one word or infusing a certain statement with emotion. This skill is especially vital to have as a voice actor; Such an actor must convey real meaning through their voice alone. With some training, any high-EQ individual can easily learn to do this as well!”
“Exercise 5: Learning to Avoid Thought Traps
In your path towards higher EQ, you will most likely run into “thought traps” — which tend to become habitual for many of us. A typical thought trap usually unfolds something like this:
You have a negative thought – perhaps in reaction to something another person said or did to you.
You repeat that thought over and over, almost obsessively, in your head.
You come to believe that this thought is true about that person – or about you.
You stir up negative feelings in yourself all on your own – because no one else has the power to do so, right? – and start feeling them in your body through a tightness in your throat, chest or gut area.
We all have lots and lots of self-talk going on throughout the day – those inner conversations that go on in that space between our ears. And, unfortunately — for the vast majority of us — it is mostly negative! We talk ourselves into and out of doing things, learning more, changing habits and so on through negative self-talk. Because the negative talk is usually more prevalent than positive.
Self-management — in regards to improving your EQ — takes awareness of your own feelings, behaviors and reactions one step further. Self-management is your at-will ability to delay personal gratification, in the name of more personal mastery over strong feelings or urges. In the name of a quiet, more balanced observation of other people around you. In the name of allowing others to shine.
Let’s say, for instance, that you always cave in to your craving to eat chocolate whenever it is available. Typically, you’ll have a thought flash through your head that says, “I want chocolate RIGHT NOW!” And you will grab some chocolate and eat it without further delay. You might ask what eating chocolate has to do with high EQ. It’s not the chocolate that’s at issue here, but the feeling of “craving” it. Part of what successful portion control or food choice is all about is delaying gratification.
Anyone who has been on one or more diets realizes this! That is, you do not cave into that strong feeling of desire for the thing. You put things off, or delay them, at least for a bit. You bite your tongue, you feel[…]”
“As another example, let’s say, for instance, that from a feeling of superiority (a feeling that falls in the category of pride and judgement), when it comes to starting a new project at the office, or doing a family project at home with the children, you just cannot help yourself from controlling exactly how things unfold. You cannot keep yourself from telling every participant in the project how to do their part of the work.
What is more, you tell them how to do it in the detail. And beyond that? You’re always looking over their shoulders to make sure they are they are doing it exactly according to your prescription. No beloved leader of high EQ micro-manages his people like this! So what do you need to do to move out of this low-EQ tendency to reign supreme over everyone else? You need to delay your gratification.
Sure, you may be highly gratified by the feeling of superiority. In much the same way as with a craving for chocolate, you will need to bite your tongue whenever you wish to tell someone that they’re doing things wrong. Instead, you’ll ask them their opinion on how things[…]”
The Goddess Bibles
A Memoir By
By Laura Zukerman