Externals indicate internal natural in distinctions


¶ To do this it is necessary to better understand our neighbors—to recognize that people differ from each other in their likes and dislikes, traits, talents, tendencies and capabilities. The combination of these makes each individual’s nature. It is not difficult to understand others for with each group of these traits there always goes its corresponding physical makeup—the externals whereby the internal is invariably indicated. This is true of every species on the globe and of every subdivision within each species.

Significance of Size, Shape and Structure
¶ All dogs belong to the same species but there is a great difference between the “nature” of a St. Bernard and that of a terrier, just as there is a decided difference between the natures of different human beings. But in both instances the actions, reactions and habits of each can be accurately anticipated on sight by the shape, size and structure of the two creatures.

Differences in Breed
¶ When a terrier comes into the room you instinctively draw away unless you want to be jumped at and greeted effusively. But you make no such movement to protect yourself from a St. Bernard because you read,

“on sight, the different natures of these two from their external appearance.

¶ You know a rose, a violet, a sunflower and an orchid and what perfume you are sure to find in each, by the same method. All are flowers and all belong to the same species, just as all human beings belong to the same species. But their respective size, shape and structure tell you in advance and on sight what their respective characteristics are.

The same is true of all human beings. They differ in certain fundamentals but always and invariably in accordance with their differences in size, shape and structure.

The Instinct of Self-Preservation
¶ The reason for this is plain. Goaded by the instinct of self-preservation, man, like all other living things, has made heroic efforts to meet the demands of his environment. He has been more successful than any other creature and is, as a result, the most complex organism on the earth. But his most baffling complexities resolve themselves into comparatively simple terms once it is recognized that each internal change brought about by his environment brought with it the corresponding external mechanism without which he could not have survived.”

The Goddess Bibles

A Memoir By Laura Zukerman

Understanding Yourself as well as others!


¶ So long as you live in a civilized or thickly populated community you will still need to understand your own nature and the natures of other people. No matter what you desire of life, other people’s aims, ambitions and activities constitute vital obstructions along your pathway. You will never get far without the co-operation, confidence and comradeship of other men and women.

Primitive Problems
¶ It was not always so. And its recentness in human history may account for some of our blindness to this great fact.

In primitive times people saw each other rarely and had much less to do with each other. The human element was then not the chief problem. Their environmental problems had to do with such things as the elements, violent storms, extremes of heat and cold, darkness, the ever-present menace of wild beasts whose flesh was their food, yet who would eat them first unless they were quick in brain and body.

Civilization’s Changes
¶ But all that is changed. Man has subjugated all other creatures and now walks the earth its supreme sovereign. He has discovered and invented and builded until now we live in skyscrapers, talk around the world

“world without wires and by pressing a button turn darkness into daylight.

Causes of Failure
¶ Yet with all our knowledge of the outside world ninety-nine lives out of every hundred are comparative failures.

¶ The reason is plain to every scientific investigator. We have failed to study ourselves in relation to the great environmental problem of today. The stage-setting has been changed but not the play. The game is the same old game—you must adjust and adapt yourself to your environment or it will destroy you.

Mastering His Own Environment
¶ The cities of today look different from the jungles of our ancestors and we imagine that because the brain of man overcame the old menaces no new ones have arisen to take their place. We no longer fear extermination from cold. We turn on the heat. We are not afraid of the vast oceans which held our primitive forebears in thrall, but pass swiftly, safely and luxuriously over their surfaces. And soon we shall be breakfasting in New York and dining the same evening in San Francisco!

Facing New Enemies
¶ But in building up this stupendous superstructure of modern civilization man has brought into being a society

“intricate and complex that he now faces the new environmental problem of human relationships.

The Modern Spider’s Web
¶ Today we depend for life’s necessities almost wholly upon the activities of others. The work of thousands of human hands and thousands of human brains lies back of every meal you eat, every journey you take, every book you read, every bed in which you sleep, every telephone conversation, every telegram you receive, every garment you wear.

And this fellowman of ours has multiplied, since that dim distant dawn, into almost two billion human beings, with at least one billion of them after the very things you want, and not a tenth enough to go around!

Adapt or Die
¶ Who will win? Nature answers for you. She has said with awful and inexorable finality that, whether you are a blade of grass on the Nevada desert or a man in the streets of London, you can win only as you adapt yourself to your environment. Today our environmental problem consists largely of the other fellow. Only those who learn to adapt themselves to their fellows can win great or lasting rewards.”

The Goddess Bibles

A Memoir By Laura Zukerman

Reaction to the Environment


¶ The greatest problem facing any organism is successful reaction to its environment. Environment, speaking scientifically, is the sum total of your experiences. In plain United States, this means fitting vocationally, socially and maritally into the place where you are.

If you don’t fit you must move or change your environment to fit you. If you can’t change the environment and you won’t move you will become a failure, just as tropical plants fail when transplanted to the Nevada desert.”

“Learn from the Sagebrush
¶ But there is something that grows and keeps on growing in the Nevada desert—the sagebrush. It couldn’t move away and it couldn’t change its waterless environment, so it did what you and I must do if we expect to succeed. It adapted itself to its environment, and there it stands, each little stalwart shrub a reminder of what even a plant can do when it tries!

Moving Won’t Help Much
¶ Human life faces the same alternatives that confront all other forms of life—of adapting itself to the conditions under which it must live or becoming extinct. You have an advantage over the sagebrush in that you can move from your city or state or country to another, but after all that is not much of an advantage. For though you may improve your situation slightly you will still find that in any civilized country the main elements of your problem are the same.”

The Goddess Bibles

A Memoir By

Laura Zukerman

Ten ways to empower your communication with others!

“There is so much to know about conversation that anyone, even I, could ever realize. You can go though watching talk shows; radio programs; clubs dedicated to public speaking; ordinary conversations; certain rules still apply when it comes to interaction through words. It may sound tedious, I know, but even though it’s your mouth that’s doing the work, your brain works twice as hard to churn out a lot of things you know. So what better way to start learning to be an effective communication is to know the very person closest to you: yourself.”

“1. What you know.
Education is all about learning the basics, but to be an effective speaker is to practice what you’ve learned. My stint as guest at every Toastmasters’ meeting I go to taught me that we all have our limitations, but that doesn’t mean we can’t learn to keep up and share what we know.
 
 

  1. Listening.
    It’s just as important as asking questions. Sometimes listening to the sound of our own voice can teach us to be a little bit confident with ourselves and to say the things we believe in with conviction.
  2. Humility
    We all make mistakes, and sometimes we tend to slur our words, stutter, and probably mispronounce certain words even though we know what it means, but rarely use it only to impress listeners. So in a group, don’t be afraid to ask if you’re saying the right word properly and if they’re unsure about it then make a joke out of it. I promise you it’ll make everyone laugh and you can get away with it as well.”

4.

“Eye Contact
There’s a lot to say when it comes to directing your attention to your audience with an eye-catching gaze. It’s important that you keep your focus when talking to a large group in a meeting or a gathering, even though he or she may be gorgeous.
 

  1. Kidding around
    A little bit of humor can do wonders to lift the tension, or worse boredom when making your speech. That way, you’ll get the attention of the majority of the crowd and they’ll feel that you’re just as approachable, and as human to those who listen.
  2. Be like the rest of them
    Interaction is all about mingling with other people. You’ll get a lot of ideas, as well as knowing what people make them as they are.
  3. Me, Myself, and I
    Admit it, there are times you sing to yourself in the shower. I know I do! Listening to the sound of your own voice while you practice your speech in front of a mirror can help correct the stress areas of your pitch. And while you’re at it you can spruce up as well.
  4. With a smile
    A smile says it all much like eye contact. There’s no point on grimacing or frowning in a meeting or a gathering, unless it’s a wake. You can better express what you’re saying when you smile.
  1. A Role Model
    There must be at least one or two people in your life you have listened to when they’re at a public gathering or maybe at church. Sure they read their lines, but taking a mental note of how they emphasize what they say can help you once you take center stage.
  2. Preparation
    Make the best out of preparation rather than just scribbling notes and often in a hurried panic. Some people like to write things down on index cards, while other resort to being a little more silly as they look at their notes written on the palm of their hand (not for clammy hands, please). Just be comfortable with what you know since you enjoy your work.”

“These suggestions are rather bland, but they do work! It is that easy! Realistically , in edgewise, I’ve learned to empower myself when it comes to public or private speaking and it never hurts to be with people to listen how they make conversations and meetings far more enjoyable as well as educational.”

Be the Best Version of You

“you should ask yourself- me speaking well Laura Zukerman, what are ten ways you would empower and improve yourself !?

“What Really Makes You Tick?” 10 questions you should ask to yourself: a preparation to self-improvement

Be all you can be, but it’s not always in the Army. I often see myself as somewhat contented with my life the way things are, but of course it’s hard to think of anything else when where are real issues to be discussed.

Still I aspire for something deeper and more meaningful.

So we’re all pelted with problems. Honestly it shouldn’t even bother or even hinder us to becoming all we ought to be. Aspirations as kids should continue to live within us, even though it would be short-lived or as long as we could hold on to the dream. They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks… or can they?

  1. What do I really want?
    The question of the ages. So many things you want to do with your life and so little time to even go about during the day.

    Find something that you are good at can help realize that small step towards improvement. Diligence is the key to know that it is worth it.
  2. Should I really change

“Today’s generation has taken another level of redefining ‘self’, or at least that’s what the kids are saying. Having an army of teenage nieces and nephews has taught me that there are far worse things that they could have had than acne or maybe even promiscuity. So how does that fit into your lifestyle?
 
If history has taught us one thing, it’s the life that we have gone through. Try to see if partying Seventies style wouldn’t appeal to the younger generation, but dancing is part of partying. Watch them applaud after showing them how to really dance than break their bones in break-dancing.
 

  1. What’s the bright side in all of this?
    With so much is happening around us there seem to be no room for even considering that light at the end of the tunnel. We can still see it as something positive without undergoing so much scrutiny. And if it’s a train at the end of the tunnel, take it for a ride and see what makes the world go round!
  2. Am I comfortable with what I’m doing?
    There’s always the easy way and the right way when it comes to deciding what goes

“with which shoes, or purse, shirt and whatnot. It doesn’t take a genius to see yourself as someone unique, or else we’ll all be equally the same in everything we do. Variety brings in very interesting and exciting questions to be experimented.
 

  1. Have I done enough for myself?
    Have you, or is there something more you want to do? Discontentment in every aspect can be dangerous in large doses, but in small amounts you’ll be able to see and do stuff you could never imagine doing.
  2. Am I happy at where I am today?
    It’s an unfair question so let it be an answer! You love being a good and loving mom or dad to your kids, then take it up a notch! Your kids will love you forever. The same goes with everyday life!”

“7. Am I appealing to the opposite sex?
So maybe I don’t have an answer to that, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try it, though. Whether you shape-up, change the way you wear your clothes or hair, or even your attitude towards people, you should always remember it will always be for your own benefit.
 

  1. How much could I have?
    I suppose in this case there is no such things on having things too much or too little, but it’s more on how badly you really need it. I’d like to have lots of money, no denying that, but the question is that how much are you willing to work for it?
  2. What motivates me?
    What motivates you? It’s an answer you have to find out for yourself. There are so many things that can make everyone happy, but to choose one of the may be the hardest part. It’s not like you can’t have one serving of your favorite food in a buffet and that’s it. Just try it piece by piece.
  3. What Really Makes You Tick?
    So? What really makes you tick? You can be just about anything you always wanted to be, but to realize that attaining something that may seem very difficult is already giving up before you even start that journey. Always remember, that self-improvement is not just about the physical or philosophical change you have to undergo, but it’s something that you really want.”

The Goddess Bibles

A Memoir By

Laura Zukerman

What is Negative Self Talk !?

Negative Self-Talk takes a variety of forms. For instance, it can help you stay grounded by telling you that there are somethings you must avoid to stay safe and healthy. There are times when it can sound mean by telling you that you can never do anything right. You can also use this voice to take a realistic approach or develop fear or a fantasy.
The musings or thoughts of your inner critic can sound like a critical friend or partner from the past. This voice can take the path of cognitive distortions like blaming and catastrophizing. In other words, negative self-talk is that voice inside you that limits your ability and prevents you from believing in yourself. These thoughts diminish your ability to change your life. Negative self-talk isn’t just stressful, but it can also hinder your success.”

Ways of Negative Self Talk

Number 1

“Filtering
Regardless of what the situation is, you will focus on the negative aspects of the situation and ignore the positive ones. For instance, let us say that you had a great day of work. You completed every task assigned to you on time and did a thorough job of it. People showered you with compliments. However, you forget about those compliments and only focus on the tasks that you were unable to complete. You then begin to work on more tasks and put yourself under stress.”

Number 2 Personalizing

“Personalizing
When you are in a bad situation, you blame yourself regardless of whether you were at fault or not. For instance, if you hear that your friends cancelled on a night out, you will assume that nobody wanted to come because they did not want to be with you.”

Number 3 catastrophe

“Catastrophizing
You always anticipate the worst in a situation. When you wake up and stub your toe, you tell yourself that you woke up on the wrong side of the bed. You convince yourself that you will have a horrible day.”

Number 4 polarizing

“Polarizing
Things or situations can only be good or bad. You never see the middle ground. Therefore, you strive to be perfect to ensure that every situation you are in is good. If there is ever a time when a situation is not in your favor, you convince yourself that you are a failure.”

“Toll of Negative Self-Talk
Negative self-talk has a disastrous effect on you. There are studies that link negative self-talk with low self-esteem and high levels of stress. This talk can lead to feelings of helplessness and demotivation. Therefore, it is important that you learn to fix this negative self-talk.
People who frequently engage in negative self-talk are often more stressed. This happens since their reality is slightly altered to help them experience the success they believe they have achieved. They need to create this experience since they do not see the many opportunities around them, and they do not capitalize on those opportunities. Therefore, the perception of stress is because of the change in behavior and perception. The consequences of the inner critic are listed below:”

“Limited Thinking
You constantly tell yourself that you cannot do something. The more you tell yourself that, you start to believe it. For example, if you tell yourself that you cannot pass an exam, you will start to believe it and eventually you will not pass that exam.”

The Goddess Bibles

A Memoir By

Laura Zukerman

The Concept of Mindfulness

Mindfulness

The concept of mindfulness comes to us from the Eastern cultures, and particularly from Buddhism — concepts that are over 2,500 years old. Its simple objective is to take you into a dynamic focus and lead you to fully paying attention. You pay attention to what is going on around you, to which emotions you are feeling, to how and what you are saying to others, to how and what you are thinking silently within your own mind, to how you are acting and behaving out in the world either alone or amongst others.

See how this ties into developing your EQ? It’s great!

In our Western societies, mindfulness courses and classes have mushroomed only over the past four decades or so. Mindfulness is now a mainstream concept and practice in Europe and North America. In fact, it’s not far off track to say that many Westerners eased into full meditation practice through the doorway of mindfulness practice.

The Western medical and mental health communities, at the same time, came to adapt Eastern mindfulness practices and approaches to their own needs; They have indeed been shown over time to help patients who have mental and emotional health[…]”

“Western psychology and psychiatry have also devised some more “Westerner-friendly” ways of learning and practicing mindfulness.; Medical professionals have assisted their patients in becoming more mindful, and seen it notably help reduce symptoms of depression, stress and anxiety, among others.

Versions of mindfulness and EQ that we see in these pages have also been extremely useful in diminishing or fully eliminating emotional trauma. Trauma from wartime experiences, from childhood or adult physical abuse or violence result in negative, protective feelings moving into place in our psyche. Whether it manifests as recurring nightmares or sleepless nights in fear of terrible nightmares, a strong anxiety around certain personality types, or a panicky retreat from society altogether – such strong feelings and emotions associated with trauma can be released through mindfulness practice. Knowing how to let go of the feelings helps diminish the power of the related memory as well. Military personnel returning from war zones and benefiting from a mindful release of traumatic feelings have gone so far as to state, “I finally got my life back”.”

“Determination. Awareness. Attention.

These are three key words that help you understand what mindfulness is.

Mindfulness means deliberately paying attention. Intentionally focusing. Nonjudgmentally observing life and living as it occurs around you. Being aware of your surroundings through all your senses.

If you are not paying attention, you don’t know whether you are missing out on something that matters to you! You can only decide what matters to you by giving attention to everything, and then prioritizing.

Mindfulness is a useful state from which to observe what’s going on within self, within other people, and out in the world at large. You pay attention to:

  • What is going on around you.
  • Which emotions you are experiencing.
  • How you are talking to people and what you are saying.
  • How people are talking to you and what they are saying.
  • Body language – yours and others’.
  • What others are doing and what they need.
  • How and what you are thinking.
  • How, how much and what you eat and drink and take into the body.
  • Nature – sounds, colors and movement.
  • And much more!

In other words, mindfulness is a dynamic state of awareness. It is a lively, conscious way of registering and processing information.

“This awareness of what is going on from moment to moment occurs without any judgement on your part.

We have all noticed young children engrossed in a given task. Nothing can pull their attention from it. They are creating some form of art, or building something, or they’re lost in a beloved story that they know by heart. We as adults can go into “the zone”, too! We are similarly experiencing a mindful absorption in the activity we are performing: running a long distance, reading an engrossing novel, lost in kneading the bread dough. Nearly no interference, noise or interruption seems to be able to break our focus. As the saying goes, “wild horses couldn’t pull us away.”

Millennia-old religious and spiritual practices have used some type of mindfulness technique from their very beginnings. Rites often blended them into practices. Prayer, singing hymns or chanting are nothing more than means of focusing – being mindful – on the spiritual energy and connection with the divine. Meditation (and mindfulness is part of achieving that quiet mind) is a spiritual aspect of many religions, including the Baha’i faith, Buddhism, Daoism, Hinduism, Jainism and Sikhism. By practicing mindfulness as we present it here, you are joining centuries of practitioners.

“That being said, sustained mindfulness is a tall order for most people! It means you have to pause and pay attention to absolutely everything going on around you and within you. That’s a lot to ask of anyone caught in the hustle-bustle of modern life. It’s a lot to ask as we are traveling, running businesses and earning a living, raising families, managing our homes.

Being mindful is difficult for the busy person that you are, granted. Especially with our last two or three decades of increasing solicitation by technology, media and the devices we all carry around to communicate, it’s hard to let go of that (apparent) connection and just observe attentively with our five senses for a while. We just don’t like to stop! But stop is exactly what we must do if we are to practice mindfulness and reap the benefits of doing so.

Becoming mindful means that most of us have to learn brand-new habits. Anyone can develop a more mindful state of being. Indeed, throughout the centuries, a number of specific activities have helped humans become fully aware and stay in the moment: Yoga, many martial arts such as Aikido, Chi Gong or Tai Chi, and meditation are some of the ancient ways we have moved ourselves into mindfulness. The ancients who lived with attention and determination were able to move into deeper, more sustained and long-term mindful states, as they quieted the noise of the ordinary mind and observed the world from a more peaceful state (7).

15th century poet Kabir said, “Wherever you are, that is the entry point.”

That is an important comment to keep in mind, because the first-time practitioner of mindfulness (and meditation as a whole) will get frustrated by wondering where to start.”

The Goddess Bibles

A Memoir By

Laura Zukerman

Emotional intelligence or an EQ Vs Intelligence Quotation or IQ

This consistently embarks upon the idea of emotional intelligence, emotional management and we are also call it an emotional awareness. In 1995 Daniel Goldman had this idea go viral in mental health and mental awareness immediately in the world of business. He will abbreviate this as an EI. The term was actually coined by two researchers peter salavoy and John Mayer. These two men were researchers of the Mayer salavoy emotional intelligence test. EQ is the personal ability you have to label and recognize your own emotions and feelings in your own emotional state.

There are two levels of your emotional EQ. Your emotional intelligence, it’s developing a habit of pausing and diverticulitis performing a habit of pausing and then objectification. There are many times that emotions when Anger or aggression come into play, and we are not able to think clear head idly. When EQ comes in , it’s allowing us to have objectivity with clear headiness. The third level of emotional intelligence is to objectify your own ability to rectify yourself at will. The ability to rectify or let go of strong feelings at will. You will be able to help others in need. If you are a high level ad emotional intelligent person you have a high EQ!

EQ is the ability to manage, control or identify our feelings. It is also the ability to understand and perceive the emotions of others, while being able to control their emotional state.

IQ however, is our intelligence quiotent. It is said to be the best way to measure how brain smart An individual is. This has no regard to emotional temperament. The IQ is a score given in a test like form to see how smart one is. It has been around since the early 20th century.

Now, you may not get tested on your EQ; however, it is somewhat of a personality test. An Eq is someones ability to identify, express, evaluate and control feeling. When you have a well known EQ, it shows in all aspects of your life.

“Personal Relationships and EQ

When you have a well-developed, highly functioning EQ, it shows in all aspects of your life. It certainly helps you stand out in the work world, but it also makes you remarkable in relationships with family, friends and strangers. For others, it is perhaps the lack of EQ that makes them stand out.

Here’s a few signs that you have a rather low EQ:

1.

You have a hard time breaking away from your digital screen (phone, computer etc.) and thus don’t know how to really create a face-to-face relationship.

2.

You are not good at all at making and sustaining eye contact – and even avoid it.

3.

You are well-known for your inappropriate responses to circumstances. For instance, you spontaneously burst out in laughter when someone near you falls and injures himself or even bleeds, or when you see someone nearby in a fit of anger who is yelling and flailing around.

4.

You always seem to rub people the wrong way; you irritate people. In other words, you don’t know how to get along with people – it’s not intuitive for you to know how to act, what to say[…]”

“Exercise 3: Learning To Read The Body

Almost all of your heavier, negative emotions as well as your lighter, positive feelings can easily be felt as sensations in your physical body.

Consider the feeling of anger. What happens in your body when you are feeling quite angry? Your muscles tighten up – fists clenched, muscles taut and ready for attack, face all tied up in an angry grimace. And then there is your voice, also a natural part of your body. Depending on your style of anger, your voice will get very tight and quiet or very loose and loud. It doesn’t take many experiences of anger for you to identify that feeling from how your body is reacting.

Now consider the feeling of sadness or grief. Your body also manifests this feeling. It becomes heavy, like you’re carrying around a ton of cement, making you feel like you’re being pulled downwards (thus the metaphor of “feeling down”). If you are sitting, it’s hard for you to get up; if you are standing, it’s hard for you to walk. You just don’t want to move. Depending on the degree of sadness or grief, and how sudden it has come upon[…]”

“Emotionally Charged Thinking

With a bit of reflection, we realize that feelings fill our thoughts as well. While we have some neutral (or “objective”) thoughts, most of our thinking is actually charged with either positive or negative emotions.

Even the simplest thought — like, “I’m running late” — can be full of emotions. It may be accompanied by anxiety, apathy, fear, self-importance, acceptance, joyful excitement and so on. The feeling that arises with the thought can be positive or negative, depending on the context.

Look at the following examples and consider whether the thought comes from — or is filled with — positive or negative feelings, or if it’s more objective and neutral.

  • The sun is shining.
  • She is in a crappy mood, watch out!
  • What is wrong with them today?
  • How dare you!
  • How does he do that?
  • I woke up feeling so great today!
  • And to think I woke up feeling good…
  • How could you be so stupid!
  • Is it smart to do it this way, do you think?
  • It’s raining.
  • Look at how well I did the job!
  • Piss off! Get away from me!
  • I’ll never, ever, get it right.
  • Ah…What a wonderful meal!

“Keep in mind that the statement’s feelings may shift depending on the mood of the person who verbalizes them. Think of how actors are capable of changing emphasis on one word or infusing a certain statement with emotion. This skill is especially vital to have as a voice actor; Such an actor must convey real meaning through their voice alone. With some training, any high-EQ individual can easily learn to do this as well!”

“Exercise 5: Learning to Avoid Thought Traps

In your path towards higher EQ, you will most likely run into “thought traps” — which tend to become habitual for many of us. A typical thought trap usually unfolds something like this:

1.

You have a negative thought – perhaps in reaction to something another person said or did to you.

2.

You repeat that thought over and over, almost obsessively, in your head.

3.

You come to believe that this thought is true about that person – or about you.

OR

You stir up negative feelings in yourself all on your own – because no one else has the power to do so, right? – and start feeling them in your body through a tightness in your throat, chest or gut area.

We all have lots and lots of self-talk going on throughout the day – those inner conversations that go on in that space between our ears. And, unfortunately — for the vast majority of us — it is mostly negative! We talk ourselves into and out of doing things, learning more, changing habits and so on through negative self-talk. Because the negative talk is usually more prevalent than positive.

“Self-Management

Self-management — in regards to improving your EQ — takes awareness of your own feelings, behaviors and reactions one step further. Self-management is your at-will ability to delay personal gratification, in the name of more personal mastery over strong feelings or urges. In the name of a quiet, more balanced observation of other people around you. In the name of allowing others to shine.

Let’s say, for instance, that you always cave in to your craving to eat chocolate whenever it is available. Typically, you’ll have a thought flash through your head that says, “I want chocolate RIGHT NOW!” And you will grab some chocolate and eat it without further delay. You might ask what eating chocolate has to do with high EQ. It’s not the chocolate that’s at issue here, but the feeling of “craving” it. Part of what successful portion control or food choice is all about is delaying gratification.

Anyone who has been on one or more diets realizes this! That is, you do not cave into that strong feeling of desire for the thing. You put things off, or delay them, at least for a bit. You bite your tongue, you feel[…]”

“As another example, let’s say, for instance, that from a feeling of superiority (a feeling that falls in the category of pride and judgement), when it comes to starting a new project at the office, or doing a family project at home with the children, you just cannot help yourself from controlling exactly how things unfold. You cannot keep yourself from telling every participant in the project how to do their part of the work.

What is more, you tell them how to do it in the detail. And beyond that? You’re always looking over their shoulders to make sure they are they are doing it exactly according to your prescription. No beloved leader of high EQ micro-manages his people like this! So what do you need to do to move out of this low-EQ tendency to reign supreme over everyone else? You need to delay your gratification.

Sure, you may be highly gratified by the feeling of superiority. In much the same way as with a craving for chocolate, you will need to bite your tongue whenever you wish to tell someone that they’re doing things wrong. Instead, you’ll ask them their opinion on how things[…]”

The Goddess Bibles

A Memoir By

By Laura Zukerman