To have deep and meaningful conversations is to talk about mental and spiritual things. All surface communication is about the world without, the mundane and the superficial. Deep conversation talks about the world within. All conversation is for discovering ourselves. It is about discovering who we are and where we are going.
Listen to what people are saying about themselves. Be ready to point out what they say as what they think or desire about themselves. Recognize the thoughts that create the reality of their life situations and how they are like. This will make them feel that you can really help them to discover themselves. When you realize that people express themselves to you in conversation truly for the purpose of experiencing themselves, you will be able to help them fulfill that purpose.
In every interaction, you can give self esteem to another person or take some away from that person. Notice when others are giving you self esteem or taking it away from you by their verbal and nonverbal communication. Find people whom you can discuss your most important life issues in an intelligent and supportive manner. If you cannot talk to someone comfortably about your ideas, that person cannot be close to you. Everything is an idea. We are nothing but our ideas. Talking about your ideas is talking about yourself.
The most important thing in any relationship is communication. In fact, communication is the essence of the relationship. It lives or dies based on it. The communication is the relationship. The quality of your relationship is the quality of your communication. Everything in the relationship is one form of communication or another. All communication is transfer of energy in-formation. All communication is emotional communication.
Each of us have an idea about the other person. The idea is the mental picture. It is not the real person but a mental clone of him or her in our mind. It is communication that shapes the mental clone. The more accurate, detailed and authentic the communication is, the closer the mental clone will be to the actual person. The mental clone we have in our mind does have the ability to affect the actual person because our thoughts affect other people’s behavior and reality.
It is never right to leave a relationship with the wrong mental picture about a person. It is incomplete. Sooner or later, you will have to return to communication with that person in order to discover who he/she really is and for him/her to know who you really are. Only then can you make a true choice whether to dissolve or allow the relationship to carry on. Every relationship contains a unique key for our mental/spiritual evolution and growth.
Notice the people you knew some time in the past who you meet again later in your life. There was something which you missed about them or something they missed about you the first time, and the consequent meetings are a chance to discover it. God arranges life events in such a way for this purpose. This is the true reason why the world seems to be so small. It is the nature of the universal mind to complete our experiences.
Writing is a way to order your thoughts. Ordering your thoughts is the key to ordering everything else in your life. Writing is crystallized thought. Speech also crystallizes thought. Thought is fluid but when you speak or write, you give it form, order and structure. Writing is more crystallized than speech because you are clear of conversational distractions, have the time to think and are better able to focus. You are also able to refine and reorganize it in the form you want it to appear.
A better way of expressing your thoughts in speech is when the listener allows you speak in a continuous flow about your ideas without interrupting and to keep listening instead. Many a times, the purpose of relating with others is for experiencing ourselves. We are all mirrors for one another. Interacting with you is a chance for me to see myself and interacting with me is a chance for you to see yourself.
As within so without. The outer world is a reflection of the inner world. When our mind and thinking evolves, we will find that our interaction with others will differ greatly from the past. The response that you desire is usually just a few degrees away. When you mentally move a few degrees in that direction by changing your thinking and hence your approach, you’ll experience the state of your interactions shift to a whole new level.
One of the worst things that can happen in communication is when the opportunity to communicate arrives, but you are not ready or in the state of mind to communicate all the thoughts and ideas which you had in mind some time before. The key is not to worry about it and to just speak whatever comes to your mind at the moment and trust that those thoughts will naturally surface as the conversation flows along. Be detached and allow yourself to even speak things that weren’t according to plan.
We tend to remember experiences that are more significant than others. Memory depends on interest. The more something captures our interest when it occurs, the more we tend to remember it. The more interest we put in our observations and the more we are able to appreciate the meaning in everything we experience, the better able we are in remembering in detail even things that may not be very significant to others.
It is not about quantity of friendships. It is about quality. Who do you have a closer connection with? Which are the ones where you know each other deeply?
- Since the communication is the relationship, deep conversation is deep connection. Many people crave this deep connection, but they allow fear to hold them back. The biggest risk is not the risk of loss. The far greater risk is that you’ll miss opportunities. You will never know the incredible amount of good you would have gained and given if you did not take the action to make the connection. No one benefits when that happens.
A connection is an energy that can be sensed when our minds are in communication at the same level. We are engaging each other at the same level of intensity. We understand each other. There is a rhythm to our interaction. We are in sync. Connection is the main thing. Connection is the key.
- Without connection, there is nothing.
Everything that happens whether good or bad is a precious experience of life. We create all our experiences purposefully.
- Everything that happens is something we chose consciously or unconsciously to experience in order to know. By choosing to face your situations and overcome them, you gain power. The measure of our ability to handle situations is the measure of our growth. The more things we can handle, the more evolved we are. All of life is a learning experience for you to become all you can be.
Mistakes and successes are present in every learning experience. The key is to gain as much experience as possible in order to gain the successes we want. This is a secret of life. Always remember that reality changes from moment to moment. What isn’t happening for you now may happen for you later.
Owner and Founder At The Goddess Bibles A Memoir By Laura Zukerman
Becoming Your Inner Goddess
Goddess of bringing out the Extrovert In You!