The best kind of relationship to engage others with is the conscious relationship. It is the kind where both of you are open and honest with each other about your thoughts and feelings. When two people can be direct with each other, it bypasses all the drama and nonsense created in the usual kind of relationships.
It saves so much time and energy as well. The smartest people aim to focus their time and energy on creating things rather than wasting it on useless drama and accomplishing a lot of nothing.
If you really like someone, aim to spend lots of one-on-one time together with no distractions. Talk about your lives, and unearth each other’s interests. Share your hopes and dreams. Bypass small talk, and dive into what’s really important to you. Speak soulfully and listen attentively. This way you can create an amazing connection in a matter of hours that would take weeks to accomplish with traditional dating. This is about getting to the core and the essence when it comes to the person you relate with.
Some people think that communicating through email and on the phone is enough. They think it isn’t necessary to meet up. But such thinking is very erroneous and they are of very low level of consciousness. With face-to-face interactions you can read body language and tone of voice, and have a much better shot of getting an accurate read, but with a plain email or phone conversation with someone you may not know that well, there’s just no way. True friends must do meet up to relate from time to time.
When you get to know a person a little and sense that something wonderful could develop if you were to mutually progress to a deeper, more intimate level of sharing, then share your thoughts and feelings openly with him or her and then ask if they feel the same. This makes it safe for them to be open and honest with you as well. You may get a positive response and advance forward fast. Had you not been so open and direct with them, you might never have known that they have similar feelings towards you.
You must realize that a rejection is still a good outcome. If the other person appreciates your directness but doesn’t share your feelings towards them, this makes it easy for you to let go and shift your attention to someone else. On the other hand, if they react negatively to your directness itself, such a match would have been a mistake because anyone who doesn’t appreciate openness, honesty, and directness wouldn’t make a good partner for you anyway. Only conscious people are right for each other.
There is no point in entering relationships with people who prefer game-playing, drama, deception, or manipulation as opposed to straightforward openness and honesty. So being direct is an efficient way to quickly disqualify such people. This saves you time and energy. If they appreciate your directness and admit that they share your feelings if only in a small noncommittal way, you can proceed to explore a deeper connection together. You can now explore the possibilities together in a conscious way.
When you are direct, it doesn’t mean your request will be automatically accepted, but a rejection is still much better than pussyfooting around and playing guessing games for weeks on end. You must also respond to other people’s directness in a conscious way. If others confess their feelings for you, regardless of how you feel, never ever throw it back in their face. Trying to humiliate or embarrass them for opening up like that would be incredibly cruel. Appreciate them for being open and honest to you.
Flirting can be fun, but it isn’t much of an opener for a relationship. Even when someone is very flirtatious with you, there is no way you can really guess their intentions, so don’t even try. You don’t know if they are genuinely interested, if they are baiting you into giving them more attention, or if it’s just their natural, playful style. It could also be something else entirely. Flirting can be fun but it best used after you are in a relationship with someone so that intents are clear without the drama and nonsense.
Once you enjoy a taste of directness in your relationships, it’s hard to settle for anything less. To initiate a real relationship, it’s better to favor straightforward, honest, attentive communication. Share your thoughts, feelings, and desires openly and honestly. See if there exists the potential for a fun, compatible match. If there’s no match, it’s not a rejection. It’s nobody’s fault. It just means you should both try elsewhere. That’s all. Two people can still be close friends if they consciously relate with the other.
You might be concerned that being so direct would kill the mystery and romance at the beginning of a relationship. But the fun, mystery, and romance can still be present. In fact, you will find that they’re enhanced and brought to a whole new level. Instead of wallowing in uncertainty and playing silly guessing games, you will spend your time getting to know a real human being without the phony social mask. The reality is far more exciting than any fantasy. Conscious relationship is still the most exciting kind.
If you want to cultivate deep, connected relationships, skip the drama and start things off the right way, with openness, honesty, and directness. Set the frame from the start of openness and directness. Whoever that cannot engage this, is not conscious and therefore is not right for you. This isn’t how TV characters behave, but it is how conscious human beings relate to each other. Most dating advice is catered to interacting at a lower level. Conscious living is usually the opposite of how the masses live.
Owner and Founder At The Goddess Bibles A Memoir By Laura Zukerman
Becoming Your Inner Goddess
Goddess of openness, honesty and directness