Has there ever been an instance when you tried to help someone, however; you ended up hurting them instead. The polarity of helping is hurting. When you engage in one polarity , you automatically engage in the other. When someone is hurting, we feel their pain and so we try to eliminate their pain by suppressing it. On the surface, it seems like we are being good caring individuals. However, when you go deeper into it, the honest reason we desire to help is because we want the pain to go away. We help selfishly, in order not to hurt ourselves.
Let me ask you a question, when others try to fix you, and you sense their depeer feelings of discomfort; or being with you, does it work? The answer is no. You do not find yourself beautifully growing and healing, unless of course you are a licensed professional ; who knows what they are doing. Usually, when people are being helped by someone who is not a professional they sense a feeling of judgement. Thus feeling not wanted and a fear of not being loved comes about; its a recluse to warp them even farther into isolation. They may hear the message of “go away” under others wanting to help them.
When you attempt to heal others as someone who is not experienced , they attempt to feel attached to the failures and successes of helping another. Therefore, this puts you in a position of power for yourself. Where as if you don’t help the person you feel a burden of powerlessness. Not only must they heal themselves, they now must heal to make you feel good. They then will feel guilty about hurting you, or they withdraw feeling the weight of disappointing you or only say they are feeling good because you selfishly got involved and they want to make you feel better.
There is no shame in trying to help just make sure you are coming from a place of awareness and not a place of ignorance. So how can you really help without hurting? By not helping in the first place. You see it comes from a superiority complex. If we see someone in a inferior position we automatically think we must help them.
If you really want to help someone you must see them not as inferior, but much greater than , much stronger ; them the current situation they are in right now. Therefore, they don’t need your help, you are only the guiding reinforcement within them; telling them that can push past this situation or or place.
Now, you might ask, what is it like for someone to see you completely with all your faults and pain and does not want to change you. Well, this is the type of person whom accepts you for who you are. There is no agenda. No hope that you will change for your own good. Rather, they see you as a deeper soul. A capable being, they don’t see you as smaller than your destiny or your life experiences. They honor your choices and honor you as you are.
Ironically this may look like a hands off , powerless approach. However, when we are loved and accepted we free ourselves from our pain. The person or people, accept you for who and what you are. There is no agenda. This gives off the message of stay , you are seen and accepted here.
There are only two movements of consciousness love and fear. Love is allowing what is while fear is resisting what is. See the wholeness in others. See them as perfect. And that it is okay, do not shrink back. Stay present with love and affection. There is nothing wrong with the world. By expressing wholeness; you cause others to do the same as well. Being whole may look detached and uninvolved. However, sometimes; it is the only way to actually help others and to do so to the fullest capacity.
Dr. Laura Zukerman
Owner and Founder At The Goddess Bibles A Memoir By Dr. Laura Zukerman
Becoming You’re Inner Goddess
Goddess of Helping Others
Goddesses who are Loving and Accepting